Parents’ Consensus on Challenging Days for Celebrating a Child’s Birthday

Let’s be honest: some birthdays may pose more challenges than others. While every child deserves to be celebrated regardless of their birth date, there are days that can make birthday festivities a bit more difficult. Many parents have quietly wished for a different, more convenient birthday for their kids.

We acknowledge that there is no inherently “bad” day for a birthday, but some dates do present unique challenges. Through a casual survey of 57 parents, we uncovered which days are particularly tough for celebrating a child’s birthday. Keep reading to discover the results, including candid remarks from real parents on why these specific birthdays can be less than ideal..

A Summary of the Data

I gathered insights through an informal survey among acquaintances on social media and via email, where 57 parents shared their opinions on the worst days to have a baby. Although not a scientifically rigorous study, the responses were candid, direct, and surprisingly consistent, allowing me to identify some noticeable patterns.

Here are the outcomes of the survey, listing the least favorable days or timeframes to celebrate a birthday based on the collected data:

The Most Challenging Birthdays, According to Parents

After analyzing the data, it’s time to delve into the birthdays that parents find particularly tough, along with insights from actual parents.

Christmas day

Christmas day was identified as the most challenging day to celebrate a birthday, as it often gets overshadowed by holiday preparations, family gatherings, and last-minute shopping. It can be difficult for a child’s special day to shine amidst the festive chaos.

Hanna Olivas, a mother of two and the founder and CEO at She Rises Studios, shared her perspective:

According to Hanna Olivas, “Despite the festive atmosphere, a child’s birthday may be easily overlooked during the holiday rush. Family gatherings, availability of friends, and the combination of gifts could all contribute to the overshadowing of a child’s birthday. The common phrase ‘This is your birthday and Christmas present!’ may not be well received by most children.”

The period following Christmas until early January

The timeframe after Christmas and into early January ranked second in popularity for birthday celebrations, which initially surprised me. However, this period makes sense as most people are still on holiday or recuperating from the festive season chaos, making it challenging to plan birthday festivities.

Katie Cloyd, a mother of three from Tennessee, shared her personal experience during this time:

“My daughter’s birthday falls on January 8th, and it can be quite challenging. Everyone is typically exhausted and financially stretched thin from the holidays, which results in a lack of enthusiasm for attending parties or purchasing gifts. While my closest friends always make an effort to celebrate my daughter, she is only 5 years old, and we had to cancel a party one year because no one was able or willing to attend.”

Summer break

It was surprising to find that summer, including early September, ranked third in popularity among parents. Many parents mentioned that summer birthdays can be challenging for school-aged children.

Marna Mortimore, a mother of two from South Carolina, expressed her views:

“Celebrating summer birthdays can be tough for school-aged kids. For example, our younger son’s birthday falls just two weeks after the school year ends. To ensure his friends can attend the celebration, we usually have to plan it a month earlier when they are still in town and not away at camps or on summer vacations.”

The week before Christmas

Ranked fourth is the period leading up to Christmas, which many parents find highly stressful, especially when trying to create a magical holiday atmosphere for everyone.

Nicole Herway, a clinical social worker and therapist at Herway Counseling, and a mother of two, expressed her views:

Herway shared, “Having a baby on Christmas Day or during the week before can be challenging. I was born a few days before Christmas, and my mother struggled to make my birthday special as my friends were away, other holiday events were ongoing, and people were busy with Christmas preparations.”

Kristen Hazelton’s Perspective on December Birthdays

Kristen Hazelton, a mother of two and the lead photographer at Kristen Hazelton Photography, shares her insights on December birthdays. She believes that the entire month of December is not an ideal time for birthdays due to various reasons.

Challenges of December Birthdays

Hazelton points out that December birthdays face unique challenges such as competing with Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, end-of-school-year activities, holiday parties, and the flu season. These celebrations and obligations often overshadow December birthdays, making it difficult for individuals born in this month to fully enjoy their special day.

For instance, Hazelton mentions her mother-in-law, who felt that her December birthday was frequently overlooked in favor of Christmas festivities. As a result, her mother-in-law now chooses to celebrate her birthday in May, away from the holiday season distractions.

September 11th

Having a birthday on a national day of mourning or a tragedy is never ideal, with September 11th being the most common date mentioned by the parents surveyed.

Freelance writer and mother Mari Krueger shared her personal experience of celebrating her birthday on this date:

“My birthday falls on 9/11. People react with a subtle but difficult-to-explain sense of disgust when they hear this.”

Leap Day

Leap Day, falling on February 29th, is not the most ideal birthday as it only officially occurs once every four years.

Amy Grace, LPC, a therapist and mother of six, shared her personal experience regarding Leap Day births:

“One of my daughters was born on Leap Day. Initially, I didn’t want it to happen based on her due date, but my body had other plans. Since her birthday occurs only every four years, we celebrate it in a grand way during those rare years.”

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is another occasion that may not be ideal for birthdays, particularly for parents with children in school where it is a significant event.

Alicia Betz, a freelance writer and mother of three, shared her perspective:

“Having twins born on Valentine’s Day is adorable, but school Valentine’s Day celebrations can detract from their special day. As a parent, it becomes challenging to ensure their day is extraordinary, prepare valentines for my kids, and ensure they have their valentines ready for school.”

Personal Traumaversities

A personal “traumaversary” signifies the anniversary of a traumatic event in one’s life, such as the loss of a parent or another significant tragedy. When a child’s birthday coincides with this painful date, celebrating their special day can become emotionally complex. How can parents navigate this situation while honoring both their child and their memories of the past event?

One individual’s approach to this dilemma was as follows:

“After my father’s sudden passing in early April, and with my daughter’s due date falling in the same month, I deliberately chose a different induction date to ensure her birth did not coincide with the anniversary of my father’s death. I felt it was essential to separate the feelings of grief over my father’s loss from the joy of welcoming my daughter into the world.”

 Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, a clinical child psychologist, also provided insights on this matter:

Main Content

Having a birthday close to a traumatic anniversary can be challenging. The body reacts to these dates by releasing stress hormones and danger signals, making it hard to feel festive during that time period. The week before and after the trauma anniversary is often filled with stress and exhaustion, making it difficult to celebrate a child’s birthday.

April Fool’s Day

Some parents find April Fool’s Day challenging for a birthday celebration, according to feedback I received.

Danie Owen, a mother and freelance writer, recalled her experience of being born on April 1st:

“Being born on April Fool’s Day was not enjoyable for me while growing up. It was disheartening how many people would ask a young child, ‘So you’re a joke?’ or gift me a bag full of rocks.”

Making Every Day Special, Regardless of the Occasion

Imagine your child celebrating a birthday on a less-than-perfect day. How can you ensure their day remains extraordinary? Therapists suggest creative ways to make any day unforgettable, even if it coincides with a holiday or inconvenient timing.

Create Special Birthday Traditions

Establishing special traditions specifically for birthdays can enhance the celebration and make each birthday feel unique and significant, regardless of other circumstances, according to Herway.

“For instance, allowing every child to pick their favorite meal on their birthday can make the dinner menu more personal. Why not include steak in a Thanksgiving feast?” The more distinct birthday customs, the more joyous the occasion, and the more imaginative they are, the more unforgettable they become.

Work collaboratively with your child

Engage in a conversation with your child to understand their preferences for celebrating their birthday, as recommended by Gayane Aramyan, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist from Los Angeles with expertise in pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood. Aramyan advises, “Collaborate with your child by inquiring about what activities would bring them joy on their special day.” Allowing your child to make decisions empowers them and allows them to take charge of their birthday festivities, regardless of any concurrent holidays or events.

Be Open to Alternatives

When your child’s birthday coincides with a holiday, it’s important to remain open to alternative options. It may be necessary to make changes to both the birthday and holiday festivities to prevent them from clashing. For instance, if your child’s birthday is on Thanksgiving, consider shifting the Thanksgiving meal to a different day to avoid combining two significant occasions. Being adaptable in when you observe major holidays allows you to ensure your child’s birthday remains distinct and receives the attention it deserves.

Maintain an Optimistic Approach

While you may feel disappointed, it is crucial to uphold a positive demeanor for your child’s benefit. Avoid emphasizing the conflicts arising from their birthday overlapping with a holiday, advises Herway. Focus on your child rather than the holiday itself. Remember, holidays are neutral entities, unlike children who are impacted emotionally, as pointed out by Herway.

Make alternate plans

If you can’t celebrate your child’s birthday on the actual day, it’s perfectly fine. According to Aramyan, choosing a different date allows for a more positive and focused celebration. The key is to have a solid plan in place to make the day special for your child and keep the attention on them.

Aramyan emphasizes the importance of concentrating on factors within your control, such as creating a memorable experience for your child. This ensures that their birthday remains a source of happiness regardless of the circumstances.

Practice radical acceptance

Embrace radical acceptance in challenging situations, advises Aramyan. This concept involves recognizing and embracing circumstances beyond your control without passing judgment, aiming to lessen the emotional distress they may bring.1

Aramyan suggests acknowledging and validating your emotions related to specific dates, whether they coincide with other events, have personal significance, or trigger difficult memories. By finding inner peace with these circumstances, it becomes easier for your child to mirror your positive outlook.

Can radical acceptance drive change? Research indicates that training in radical acceptance enhances the application of cognitive reappraisal strategies.